Taking the reigns on your life and happiness.
I chose to write about this topic because I found myself unmotivated and in a bit of a rut. Moving back and forth from Nicaragua to Canada was a choice that I made on my own. When things didn’t work out right away like I had planned, I found myself blaming the world around me. I gave into that and started to feel helpless and weak. I was victimizing myself. I took those feelings and decided to do some research on the topic. Then decided to roll with it and write this blog. Which is a bit of a full circle phenomenon as by turning these negative feelings into something positive I was able to write this blog and move forward from the role of victim.
“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.” ― Theodore Roosevelt
What is personal responsibility? It is taking conscious control of your responses to the events and circumstances in your life. You are responsible for yourself, whether you like it or not. What you do with your life and what you have done already is up to you.
Yes, things happen in life that you feel you have no control over....And while you may not be able to control everything that happens to you, you are nevertheless responsible for how you think, act, and feel in response to those things.
This responsibility cannot be “passed” or “split” between people. It is an excuse to slack off when the going gets rough.
That being said, responsibility doesn’t have to be a negative thing. Once you accept personal responsibility it begins to get easier and things seem to just fall into place. This decision to become the sole person responsible for your life needs to be a conscious one. But words are just words until action is harnessed onto them. Surrendering responsibility is a habit that needs to be removed.
Here are five ways to help you in the quest for empowering yourself by owning your personal responsibilities.
Recognize Your Choices. In any situation you have the choice on how to respond. Everyday we have a spectrum of choices from seemingly small matters to the larger, life impacting ones. You can choose to look at these choices in two ways. You can see them as negative and entrapping OR you can choose to focus on something positive. You are in charge of your own mental state.
Accept Your Circumstances. This happens by accepting responsibility for who you are in the present moment. That includes your own thoughts and actions. We are conditioned by friends, family, society and other external circumstances there is no doubt about that. It is you alone who can decide how you respond to something. Therefore it is you who must take responsibility. It doesn’t help to beat ourselves up for a “bad” decision. Dwelling on the negative will not improve your situation. Only through accepting personal responsibility can you move forward.
Stop Relying on the Validation of Others. You don’t need people to tell you how or that you should feel good about yourself. There is a thin line for validation to feel good, as it does, and then being dependent on it. Just remember to check in with yourself. There is only one of you and you are so special!
Forgive others and YOURSELF. We are all so hard on ourselves. We are constantly putting ourselves down and that is getting us no where fast. Give yourself a break. We are human and will make mistake after mistake. The key here is to take responsibility and move forward. Have a cry or a laugh and move on. When someone else makes a mistake, try not to hold it against them. No one is perfect and by blaming them you are shifting the focus away from your personal responsibility.
Be Open to New Ideas. We are constantly changing and growing. If something isn’t working for you, maybe take a look at what you can do to change it. Nothing is final in this world nor is anything absolute. Don’t limit yourself but allow yourself to open up to the vast possibilities that are presented to us everyday. Be a yes man, man!
Conclusion. Be you. You are perfectly imperfect. Kick out the pedestal that you have placed others or yourself on.
Live authentically for yourself and for your values. Taking responsibility is a challenging and lifelong process but is necessary if you want to be truly happy. Just remember, no matter where you go and what you do you are the one constant in your life.
- Lauren Bristowe